Parenting Solutions for Teen & Pre-Teen Education & Behavior

14: Education Breakthrough: Unlock Better Learning At Home

• Ryan Kimball + Mike Tyler Educators & Behavior Modification Experts • Season 4 • Episode 1

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Click Here to get your FREE Parents Survival Guide and Good Choices Downloads and Booklets!

Ever feel like homework wars and school stress are symptoms, not the cause?

We pull back the curtain on why family tension and unspoken issues quietly sabotage learning, then show how a simple practice—clearing the air—restores trust, focus, and momentum. Not with lectures or guilt, but with practical tools, safer conversations, and a shared set of principles the whole family can use.

To make this real, we share free resources: The Way to Happiness, a common-sense guide for parents, and How to Make Good Choices, a kids’ version written for accessible reading levels. Use them to spark your first family reset: review simple principles together, name where things went off track, agree on repairs, and design small wins that rebuild confidence. We also preview upcoming deep dives on the anatomy of learning—how to spot confusion early, convert it into competence, and help kids discover genuine interest through doing.

We share how honest, targeted conversations at home remove the hidden friction behind school struggles and behavior. A simple framework, plus free parent and kids booklets, helps families create fresh starts without shame and build momentum toward real learning.

• why clearing the air unlocks progress at home
• confusion as the driver of misbehavior and school issues
• how to make honesty safe without harsh penalty
• using The Way to Happiness as a shared guide
• kids’ booklet for simple, age-appropriate choices
• when to disclose and who actually needs to know
• building confidence through small wins and mastery
• what we’ll cover next on learning and motivation

Get a download or request free physical copies of The Way to Happiness and How to Make Good Choices using the link in our show notes. We’ll send enough for the whole family at no cost, postage included.

Click Here to get your FREE Parents Survival Guide and Good Choices Downloads and Booklets!


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Grateful acknowledgement is made to L. Ron Hubbard library for permission to reproduce a selection from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.




SPEAKER_01:

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the first episode of the Parenting Solutions for Teen and Pre-Teen Education and Behavior. I'm here with Mike. My name is Ryan. We are your co-hosts for this podcast. And today we're going to talk about something that's very applicable to beginning the year from the viewpoint of new year, new you, or if you're here to help your child, helping your child have that fresh start. And specifically, we're going to talk about clearing the air and why that is so important to helping your child with education barriers and behavior barriers. So this is a pretty big topic. We're going to dive into how it applies to what we're doing. And of course, in future episodes, we'll get into the details and how everything works more specifically. But to start us off today, Mike, why don't you explain what we mean by clearing the air?

SPEAKER_00:

Sure. So I have a kind of a, I hope, an interesting or humorous example of clearing the air that comes from completely outside the box of our field. I think it's a good way to start. This was some some 20 years ago, long many years ago, when I was still available to do some remodeling work, and some friends of mine they invited me to come stay with them at their house and do this little remodeling project for them. It was the a hallway bathroom that made it extensive, just to remove everything, put everything back in. And so I agreed to do this thing. It's pretty hard to turn down good friends who invite you to stay with them in their home. And you get your own bedroom, bathroom, my own suite in the house, you know, rather large older home in a very uh nice area. And you get to hang out with your friends for weeks, um, just to do methodically working on their house. And uh so plus they're paying me a lot of money, right? This is always part of a remodeling project. And so I agreed to do this thing. I showed up with all my tools and I got started. Um and uh I guess they weren't doing really well at the time, as a couple, must have been, right? Because they were arguing quite a bit. And I would overhear this stuff. I mean, we're there having coffee in the morning, we had dinners together. Um it's it it was hard to avoid the fact that there was something going on between the two of them. And um this may or may not have been the most effective way to go about it, but I sat down with them and had a frank discussion with them about their arguing. And and see, when people are really stressed, very upset, you know, couples sometimes will spit out the word divorce as if that's a pending or possible outcome. And I sat them down and told them that they need to clear the air. Okay, they need to clear the air between the two of them. Why do they need to clear the air? Because I don't have in me some uh some innate passion for remodeling bathrooms. Who cares? I just know how to do it, right? And I'm very good at it. And so people have paid me to do this step. But it's not out of like a like a I'm gonna remodel all the bathrooms in America passion type of thing. It's just like I I'm really good at it, and friends would ask me to do projects for them, and so I I do these things, right? Bathrooms, kitchens, whatever, who cares? I'm totally unavailable to do any of that work, by the way, for many years now. Um because education is so much more me, right? Um so I told them that if they keep arguing and about getting divorced, and if I keep hearing that, I'm just gonna give them a bunch of money back because they had prepaid me for the whole project. And um I told them, I'm gonna give you like half of your money back, and I'm gonna not finish your bathroom, I'm just gonna go home because I don't care about your bathroom, I care about you guys. Right? And if you're gonna get divorced, then why am I working on your bathroom? Who cares? I don't hire somebody else. Right? And it might have, like I said, not the the most effective way to go about it, but they must have cleared the air between the two of them. I didn't need to know what was going on, right? I didn't need to know um whatever it was that they had between the two of them. And what do we really mean? What's the definition of that means a clearing the air, having a frank discussion to calm the troubled waters, or whatever other analogies you want to use, or uh groups of words that used to just describe this thing, but clear the air, get stuff out of the way. What are you getting out of the way? The secrets that they were keeping from each other, right?

unknown:

Right?

SPEAKER_00:

How much they spent on this, that, or the other thing. It's not like it had gone so far as as there was uh a bunch of affairs that have had piled up that they forgot to tell each other about, right? It had not gone that far. I've seen such things, and you've probably run into such things, right? Couples. Um but uh I I've seen it over the years. I think between the two of us, we've we've we've heard more things and more people realize, right? But um, in that particular instance, I was not the person that they needed to clear the air with. They needed to clear the air between the two of them so as to allow this remodeling project to move forward. And uh if if we're gonna go into a family and help them educationally, right, the parents need to have clear the air between the two of them of anything that they've got going on. And if it's not if it's not uh affairs uh that have piled up, then what did happen? Why are they arguing so much? Well, it's it's because of the things they haven't told each other. So they need to have that frank discussion. They need to tell each other about what has actually occurred, how much money did you spend on blah or whatever? What did you say to so-and-so that I don't know about? What happened? And and if you're having trouble clearing the air, that's where Ryan and I can help, and we'll talk about that you know, that as a service at some later point. But you could just try right now clearing the air between the two of you, and then your your child or children, um, if they're having study difficulties, and if this has been going on for quite a while, the the study difficulties and confusions that they have in learning immediately get into, and and we've covered this in other episodes and we'll cover it in in future episodes, um the link between confusions and bad behavior. Confused people do stupid things. And so if they're confused and they're having trouble with school and learning, then they're doing dumb things. And and because they're good people, your kids, uh as all people inherently are, or down deep, they they're not telling you about these things. So so before we get to the educational aspects, it's like, well, what did you do? What did you do? What did you do? You gotta find out these things, and and you have to make it safe for them to tell you. It can't be a matter of just penalty, right? And we could talk about how to go about that in other future episodes, but but it is a starting point. You just have to clear the air amongst the family members, and and and uh don't go on social media and start publishing all the dumb things that you've done. Nobody needs to know all that stuff. That would be the wrong way to go about it, right? Ryan and I certainly don't need to know about all the dumb things that you've done, right? And you don't need to know about all the dumb things that we've done, right? That's the way it works. But but somebody needs to know. And if you're gonna clear up your family uh scene, then amongst the family, you're gonna have to come clean. Clear the air.

SPEAKER_01:

Great, great analogy. And yes, this is so important to how we work with people and help them with their child or children. And uh I think the great thing about clearing the air is it's not whatever's going on and whatever has happened, in whatever you want to have happen, clearing the air helps with all of it. You know, there's no part of your life that won't improve if you do that and do that correctly, and we do have techniques for that. So, speaking of which, um can you go over a little bit of how we use some of the materials which we provide for free um to facilitate this process of clearing the air and making it very helpful?

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. Um the the truth is, is you were never given an instruction book for how to live a happy life and how to bring happiness to other people's lives. Um there there there is no such book. Um and and and by that I mean sure, uh moral codes and different instructional book books. Um you know, people go to church to get the the lessons that they need. Um people of different faiths have sure instructions from uh their religion. You get instructions from your parents, you learn things at school. There's there's lots of information out there, but there's there's really been nothing available that's a that's a universal common sense guide to better living. Um and so, but we have we have one, and that's what it's called. It's called, and uh and and I'll put this on screen for the people who uh can can view this. It's called The Way to Happiness, a Common Sense Guide to Better Living. It also says down here, a survival guide for parents. Survival guide for parents, and this is the book that you wish you had a long time ago, right? And so we're making this available, and I'll let Ryan speak to uh how it is that we're giving these things away. But we have we have this book, and it is your uh guide to better living. And you have to not beat yourself up for the fact that prior to prior to now, you didn't have this book. You made a lot of you made a lot of mistakes, you did your best, you did a lot of stupid things or dumb things, whatever you want to call it, right? Just uh confused things. We'll just we'll we'll just call them confused things. Um and and so after clearing the air or or or or while clearing the air, you can use this book to go through and and just look over. Well, have you ever done this? Have you ever done that? What's been done? What have you done right? What have you done wrong? What have you done right? What have you done wrong? And you can just clear the air you using this book. It's very useful for that purpose. And then we have this one, the children's version. This is for the kids, how to make good choices, right, based on the weight of happiness. It's much easier to read. And uh so it's good for all all reading levels. Uh we would probably say ages eight and up. Some kids are really lucky and get taught how to read even earlier than that, but but um we'd say about ages eight and up can can handle that book if they've been taught how to read it all. And um, and so you we make these things available so that they can be used to clear the air, and then as a future guide for how to how to keep things clean and fresh and new, and so that life can be fun. Life should be fun, learning should be fun. And and and you'll hear us talk endlessly about how learning is actually fun when you are learning things that you want to learn about, and you're becoming a master of whatever it is that you're passionate about. And you, if you have if you're not passionate about anything, well you can you can become passionate by building confidences in doing things, and that's what all good education is for is actually learning how to do things and do things well.

SPEAKER_01:

Love it, yes, absolutely. And to speak to where you can grab these materials, um they are actually available in a link in all of our show notes, so every episode has a link to this Way to Happiness and Good Choices booklets, and they're absolutely free. Um, you can get a download as something that will just be a PDF version of it. Um, but you can also, if you wish, put in your uh information as to where we should send it, and we will send you absolutely free a physical copy of both books, including enough for everyone in the family to read them. And this includes postage, we're just sending it to you for free. We're a nonprofit educational organization here to help you, so that's always available. And again, just to speak to what Mike said, this is the guide that allows a lot of improvements to occur, and it has educational aspects in it, and it has how to clear the air and principles that you can use to uh figure out what you should be clearing the air about in case you need your mind jogged a little bit on that. Um, so it's very, very valuable and it's a lot of fun. Like Mike said, everything should be fun if this is done right. There may be a little bit of uncomfortableness involved. Um, but if you do it and you really get through it, it is a lot of fun. It's very rehabilitating. So, speaking of that, Mike, with all your experience and thousands of people helped through education and improving behavior, um, how can you describe what the way to happiness does? Is it this, you know, cure-all that makes sure nothing bad ever happens again? Or what's the real real scoop on that?

SPEAKER_00:

Gotcha. Um no, it's not a cure-all for anything. Um it it does have uh, let's see, I believe it's 21, 21 chapters after after there's an introduction and uh little end notes at the back, but there's there's 21 chapters, 21 uh principles um that are that are just universal universal uh guides to to to what really makes sense. And that's what it's called, you know, a common sense guide to better living. People joke about this, like common sense, well yeah, only if if only it were actually common, right? It's like you you don't have to have some intuition uh uh about what's common sense. I mean, you it right? Uh people think common sense is just something that's supposed to be like what innate, or you either where do you learn it? Do you learn it from from church? Do you learn it in school? Do you learn where do you get this thing? Well, this is a very, very simple book that was written to to give you the simplicities of leading a happy life. And uh and you will find in this book all the lessons that you've been taught it from other sources, all just compiled into one place as a handy reference, and it gives you the it gives you the rules of life. And then and then I'm just gonna read one thing uh from the back, the end notes here. There's a there's a sentence that says there is no person alive who cannot make a new beginning. Okay There is no person alive who cannot make a new beginning. Well it's a new year, new you, let's make a new beginning. But but what about next week, next month, next year? Okay, what about the middle of the year? What about in June when you uh because uh after having cleared the air and reading the book and sticking with us in future podcast episodes, you were straightening out educational problems with the with the family, but um but then something happens, you know, you you you went over the line, right? You did so you did something that that you realize, okay, that was a mistake. And you might have you might have known it was a mistake while you were doing it, but but it wasn't quite as fun or good or adventurous as you thought it was gonna be. And um and and now you regret having done that thing, and now you get need to clear the air with whomever needs to know about that. And then we just go right back to that line. Right? There is no person alive who cannot make a new beginning. It's just hard to make a new beginning if you haven't cleared the air. That's all. So and and who do you clear it with? The the people that matter, the people that are involved in that particular situation. Right? If you go into work and and tell your boss about all the stuff that you've been bringing home from the office, you might get fired, right? So so if you probably so so it's not a good idea. Uh if you want to change that behavior, who are you gonna clear that, clear the air with? Well, whoever it's with your spouse or your minister or whomever or some confidant of like, hey, look, I'm turning over a new leaf. This is the direction I'm going in. I just wanted you to know, and and because this is what's been happening, and so forth and so on. And if you have no uh no spouse and no confidants, um, Ryan and I are always available. We've heard we've heard it all. We've been doing this together for, I don't know, some combined total of 50 or 60 years or something. And and there's nothing, there's nothing that you've done that we haven't heard at least a hundred times and more, believe me. Right? We've had some extreme cases on our hand. And um, and so you can you can shoot us an email, you can get us on the phone, maybe. We're not we're pretty busy people, but you might be able to get us on the phone, and it might be part of some service that we offer in the future. Um, make ourselves available for that type of thing. But uh, but yeah, clear the air uh and and use this material as a guide. Um, the adult version, right, for parents, the way to happiness, a common sense guide for to better living, a survival guide for parents, and the how to make good choices children's version based on the way to happiness. And uh get your free copies, your free downloads, get them mailed to your house, absolutely no cost at all. I love it. That's a good place to start.

SPEAKER_01:

It really is. And I I feel like this is an appropriate time to mention that. Uh, and as you've got as we've gone over before, our purpose in doing this podcast and helping people um like we have for so many years, is really to bring something of value to every family in America or every family that needs it and is interested in that type of help. So use these materials. Really, I know a common thing for every parent that we've ever worked with is they want their child to have success and happiness in life. And this is really the path to that. And what we help you with in this podcast and in other things that we do allows you to bring that to your children and to your home. So hopefully this makes a lot of sense. If you have any questions, of course, feel free to reach out to us. Thank you, Mike. I think this is a great place to start this year. Anything else you'd like to share before we wrap today?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, just wanted to mention that it is in future episodes where we're going to get into the anatomy of learning, why learning certain things is so difficult. We're going to dive really, really deep and make everything that we have available in our experience so that the parents can help their kids. And that's the whole purpose of this podcast, like you said. But we can just end off on this concept. Confused people do make mistakes, right? You can't if you if you spin around uh 60 times really, really fast and then walk across the street, that would be dumb. I mean, that would you're you're gonna you're you're gonna make mistakes. You're gonna that could be dangerous, right? Well, so you just have to realize that like any of the any of the things that you've done that you may have regretted later, there's some prior area of confusion that we can clear up. Okay, we can clear up the earlier confusions. Where did all this start? Why did that happen? We can do that. Any confusion can be cleared up. Okay, we are the masters of confusion. And and we will just talk endlessly about uh uh levels from confusion at the bottom to competence and mastery at the top of the scale. There's a lot of uh you know, shades of gray in between. A lot of different levels, a lot of different labels that we could give it. But but um learning starts from admitting that you have made mistakes, that you've done these things. And so clearing the air with the people who need to know, right? Uh that is that is a starting point. That puts you clear the air, and with the use of these materials that we're giving away, use this stuff to facilitate clearing the air. And you have just taken a huge step forward in the direction of living the life that you want.

SPEAKER_01:

Love it. So powerful, very, very powerful. So thank you everybody for listening today. And of course, as Mike said, tune in. We're gonna have some amazing information to share with you in upcoming episodes. Mike and I will be here helping, giving you valuable insights and tools that you can use and take action on. So that's all for today. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next time.

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Ryan Kimball

Host
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Mike Tyler

Co-host